found this draft i barely remember writing.

walking home at 3 am,
seagulls suspended against the wind
stuck in moonlight shining.
thought i saw the phoenix lights
but im already a foreigner here.
the lights are on in the room
where 19 yr old me
let the first french boy i kissed
teach me everything i know now
about how to fuck without a heart.

every day i wake up and say “i better stop this shit.”
but by 11 my lips taste like smoke.
and by 7 they’re stained red.

how do you end a relationship?
turn the alarm clock into fireworks.
turn the empty bed into a lifeboat. 
how do you stop shaking?

"coming down and now I am writing you backbecause you got your heart broke, i’ll take the credit for that.but youre still a couple of twins in my eyes, they way they reflect. i made a lot of bad decisions i feel the effect”
Feel the Effect- Tokyo Police Club

"coming down and now I am writing you back
because you got your heart broke,
i’ll take the credit for that.
but youre still a couple of twins in my eyes,
they way they reflect. 
i made a lot of bad decisions
i feel the effect”

Feel the Effect- Tokyo Police Club

Anonymous asked: And think your really beautiful :3

bayybe

let me take a selfie.

let me take a selfie.

"the best things have wine stains on them."

i ripped the skin off my lip on accident.
spanish music playing for hours.
you want to wash your face. 
i want to kiss your neck.
i dont even know if i am capable of 
feeling anything more than the physical
anymore.
when will something swallow me
say kelsey
youre so little
you talk too much and you
annoying as fuck but jesus
theres something there.

Anonymous asked: We've met before

well that’s a promising start so far so good. <3

Anonymous asked: Be my late valentine :3

tell me more.

i wanna dress up sexy and have a valentine for like one sec. 

never ever expect anything because you will get the opposite.

got from 4:30 to 10:00 pm with 
red wine, blueberry wine,
a shot of gin, a can of natty ice. 
i am twenty two and i am wearing a hat
that reminds me of when my dad would shovel
a path to the school bus at 6:55 AM. 
reminds me of gingham tablecloths.
of before i had a cat and only kissed one boy
at a time. 

when a boy would call me on a telephone
me sitting in my closet
sleepy voice buzzing through 
til someone else needed the phone

imagine if someone you like called you.
called you and said, 

hey. what’re you up to? wanna talk a lil bit?

we loved boys who were so bad for our bones.
learned from our friends. from girls in the locker room.
listen just because he doesn’t trust you
doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you.
its simple, babies.
now i’m twenty-two and
i still walk tightropes but now i say,
if i fall then fuck it because
i’m pretty sure that i bounce back.

happened before it’ll happen again. 

i’ll kiss you if you smile at me and after that
i don’t wanna hear anything about it. 
i don’t want one single smirk in an elevator
because no matter what

i’m still sacred as fuck.

whisper cliche things in my ears. things that boys say to girls they like. things that take courage but were said a hundred times before me. the heavy steps of your work boots sound safe. like you could probably get me out of any bad situation with a shovel and a cigarette hanging off your lips.

oh, its just a loose wire.
see, what you’ve gotta do is make sure next time you just…

i cant sleep. you could climb snow banks with me. you could be my best friend. you could kiss me inside of an igloo and i wouldnt be mad. if i could feel purple i would. i would be the bruise.